Monday, April 20, 2009

I don't wanna grow up....

Growth means change, and change involves risk; stepping from the known, to the unknown.

There comes a time when I think to myself: "why does life pass you by so fast"? It's a shame to see how kids these days rush their lives and want to grow up so fast, as if it's being an adult is the coolest thing ever. I mean, yea, we can have more freedoms and control of what we want to do, and we don't have curfews and rules, and all the other demands our parents have on us. But, the reality is, as we grow up, and experience life, there are so many obstacles that are difficult to overcome. We can't just run away from them. We're adults. We have responsibilities, a level of maturity that we need to build and continue building; maturity that will make us or break us. And although I am grateful for the experiences I have and the lessons that I have learned, I do sometimes wish that I was a kid again. Innocent. The innocence of a child is something that makes life seem so simple. An innocence that makes life exciting, with nothing to fear. No concept of heartbreak or disappointment, or worries about the demands of life, expectations, responsibilities that you can’t always get away from. An innocence that allows you to take on life like a warrior; as if nothing can bring you down. But, growing up does not work that way. Life’s challenges do not protect the heart or the mind and they certainly don’t ease emotions. But that’s a part of growing up. Like an infant to toddler to childhood to adolescence to teenage years to adulthood, we grow, we change, we step into the unknown; we risk our innocence.
Sometimes we take innocence for granted. So, the next time you look into the eyes of a child; think to yourself- what is it like to be them? Who will they become? What will life bring to them? Will the innocence you see in their eyes now, still be there 10 years from now?
We always tell our younger siblings, cousins, friends that they have so much life ahead of them, and that they should enjoy their youth. No matter how much fun I had as a child, and how much I’ve learned growing up; there is something in me that wants to be a kid again. Not the toys and birthday parties, or the little demands and responsibilities. It’s the innocence; an innocence that makes life simple, uncomplicated.


“Every child is born with this innocence, this knowledge of nothingness until the environment introduces ideas that taint the child's mind.”

I don’t wanna grow up, I'm a toys r us kid
there's a million toys at toys r us that I can play with
from bikes and planes to video games
The biggest toy store there is
I don't wanna grow up
Because if I did, I wouldn't be a toys r us kid

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Flaws & All

I'm a train wreck in the morning.
I'm a bitch in the afternoon.
Every now and then without warning, I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle, yes indeed. Ever-complex in every way
All the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.....
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Simply, flaws and all
And that's why I love you
I neglect you when I'm working
When I need a attention, I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection, and you see passed all that
I'm a peasant by some standards, but in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws, and that's exactly what I mean.....
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you......
~Beyonce
Why have I decided to blog????
Thanks to my BFF, I am here, putting my thoughts down...an outlet, a place to let things out, to write, get advice, share opinions and perspectives....So why now? I don't know really know. All I do know is, life is pretty much like your typical Univision novela; as dramatic and chaotic as can be, and blogging is probably the closest thing to "sanity".
With that said, I'm here, flaws and all, thinking of who I am, how I am- flaws and all, and how the one I love still loves me, regardless of those flaws. But-can I love him, trust him, after so much drama? Is it worth it? Should I assume he f*cked up or believe what he says? Should I learn from my past and takes his words as lies? Or do I believe him?
What would you do if the one you loved put themselves in a situation where they lied and made themselves look like a cheater? Do you compare them to the cheating ex?